Day 9 – How I Became a Hot Single Granny (By Choice, Not By Default) 💅🔥

Ladies, it’s time to face the truth: I have officially retired from dating. 🎤 Drops mic.

📌 Gone are the late-night doom scrolls on dating apps—where every second bloke’s bio reads like a hostage note:❌ “Just seeing what’s out there” (translation: I have zero effort to give).❌ “I’m easygoing” (translation: I live in my mate’s shed).❌ “Looking for a genuine connection” (translation: I need a place to crash).

📌 Gone are the “accidental” trips to Bunnings, where I once hoped to lock eyes with a capable, tool-wielding dreamboat… only to get cornered by a 60-year-old with no home, no job, and the enthusiasm of a bloke who sees me as his next free meal ticket. 🚩

💥 Ladies, let me be your big sister for a sec: If he’s hit his 50s and STILL hasn’t got his sh*t together, that’s not a quirk—it’s a full-blown EMERGENCY. 🚨 The Grim Reaper’s knocking on his door, and he’s still out here acting like YOU need to house, feed, and finance him?

🛑 Absolutely not. 🛑

🚩 3 Red Flags That He’s a Walking Midlife Crisis 🚩

🔥 The “Still Chasing His Dreams” Guy – He’s “working on his music career” (from your couch), “investing in crypto” (but can’t afford petrol), and “just waiting for the right opportunity” (spoiler: it’s been 30 years).

🔥 The “I Swear My Life Was Amazing Before” Guy – Every ex is crazy, every boss was jealous, and every job ended because the company went bankrupt (but somehow Centrelink still has his file open?).

🔥 The “Just Need a Little Help” Guy – Moves in “for a few weeks,” but before you know it, he’s eaten your fridge empty, used up your petrol, and your WiFi bill just mysteriously doubled.

❌ 3 Ways to Avoid Becoming His Next Caregiver ❌

✔️ Set Your Standards Like Rent in Sydney—HIGH. If he ain’t bringing more to the table than an old fishing hat and bad excuses, he ain’t eating at your table.

✔️ Date Like You’re a CEO Hiring for a Job. No resume? No references? No long-term vision? Not hired.

✔️ If His Life Looks Like an Episode of “Survivor,” Leave Him on the Island. You are NOT Jeff Probst, and you don’t hand out immunity idols.

💖 The Bottom Line? If you’re single, OWN IT. Enjoy your freedom, your peace, and your ability to buy a houseplant without it becoming a life-or-death discussion.

✨ JOIN ME LIVE TOMORROW! We’re talking about where to ACTUALLY find the right kind of love—whether that’s self-love or a bloke who isn’t a walking eviction notice.

💥 www.keepalidonit.com (Because some men—and their excuses—need to stay SEALED. 🚫😂)

Tag your single queens, divorced warriors, and women who have learned the hard way—let’s keep this sisterhood strong! 💃🏽💖