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Oh sugar… grab your gloves, crank up that witchy playlist, and let’s get dirty — cleaning dirty, that is.

'Cause guess what? If your space is as crusty as your last situationship, don’t expect Mr. Loyal, Sexy and Emotionally Mature™ to walk in the door. He’ll take one look at those dusty skirting boards and go poof — like your ex’s promises. 💨

Let’s Talk Basics, Baby — Faye 101 (Not Witchery 101… but same broom closet)

Now that I’ve got my judgy thoughts out of the way (love ya guts, even if you do call ‘em witches), let's start from scratch. I know some of y’all pretend to have your spiritual life together. Charging your cards by thinking about charging them? Sitting 'em in a shoebox like they’re leftovers? Babes… that ain’t it.



But I see you.I feel you.You’re too proud to ask, but dying to know.So instead of lurking around trying to steal my shine — let me GIFT you the goods. No guilt, no shame, no side-eye from me (well, maybe a lil’ playful one 👀✨). This isn’t degree-level stuff — this is sacred self-care meets clean-freak realness.

💥 LET’S START WITH CLEANSING 💥

Before your read a card, light a candle, manifest a boyfriend, bend into downward dog, or call in your ancestors… you must CLEAN.I don’t mean a half-arsed swipe.I mean full-on, channel-your-inner-Virgo, clean-the-corners-until-they-sparkle CLEAN.🧽 Window ledges🧼 Skirting boards🪞 Mirrors & glass🚪 Doorknobs🕸️ Anywhere dust dares to settle.

Because, and here comes the mic-drop moment — dust holds thoughts.Yup.

Edgar Lok Tin Yung, 39th gen Feng Shui master (massive respect, sensei 🙏), taught us that negative energy clings to dust like a clinger to an ex. Imagine someone walks past your house spewing venom about their ex or their unpaid bills — that chat sticks to the dust, and boom 💥 now you’re spiraling about money and men.

It’s not just hygiene, darling.It’s energetic protection.

That’s also why churches have arched windows — so the devil can’t sit on the ledge and yeet himself inside.True story. Google it. Or don’t — I said what I said. 😈

✨ THE SPACE CLEANSE RITUAL ✨

  1. Physically clean. Mop, sweep, wipe, dust. Even behind your candles and under your altar cloth, you sneaky minx.

  2. Energetically cleanse. Choose your weapon:🔥 Smudge stick💦 Salt water spray🌞 Sunlight or 🌙 moonlight💎 Crystal grid or singing bowl🎵 Beyoncé’s greatest hits (yes, that counts)

  3. Claim the space.Say it out loud, “This is MY space. My power. My peace. Nothing enters without permission.” (Wink at your reflection like the boss you are.)

🧼 CLEAN SPACE = CLEAN VIBES = HIGH-VALUE LOVE

Ladies — if you want to call in a loyal, grounded relationship, your home can’t be vibing like your last emotionally unavailable fling. Clean space = clear intentions = magnetic AF energy. Trust me — a man worth your salt (or rose-scented scrub) will feel the difference the moment he steps through your sparkly portal.

Because in this house?We don’t manifest in mess.We don’t sage around clutter.And we sure as sugar don’t let dusty thoughts rent space in our bodies.

Business: Keep A Lid On ItYour space-tidying, spell-writing, soul-igniting therapist who doesn’t do beige & boring.www.whoopwhoopwalkabout.com

SEO-LOVING HASHTAGS FOR THE VIBE:

Let me know if you want this turned into a reel script, tile, printable checklist, or just a sticker that says, “Dust holds divorce energy.” 💀

4o

 
 
 

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