How to Spot a Man-Child at 20 Paces
- Avalon Karatau
- Apr 27
- 2 min read
Welcome back to the wild, wild world of Outback Dating Survival — where spotting a man-child is a necessary life skill, right up there with starting a fire and swatting mozzies off your face.
Sis, if you’ve ever thought, "Is this my boyfriend or my teenage nephew?" — it’s time for a reality rodeo. 🐂 Let’s lock, load, and laugh our way through this.
Here’s how you spot a man-child before you end up cooking his dinners and wiping his metaphorical nose:
1. He Thinks “Adulting” Is Optional
Paying bills? Showing up for work? Planning ahead? Too hard, mate. A man-child thinks life responsibilities are a personal attack.
2. He Throws Tantrums (But in an Adult Body)
You say "no" to something and BOOM: silent treatment, sarcasm, maybe even a dramatic unfollow. Is this a man or a moody 13-year-old in cargo shorts?
3. He Still Blames Mum (Or His Ex) for Everything
If all his problems are someone else's fault... guess who’s next on the blame train? 🚂 (Spoiler: it’s you.)
4. He Can't Handle a Tough Conversation Without Getting Defensive
Bring up anything real, and suddenly you’re the "nagging one" or "too much." Nah, sis. You’re not too much — he’s just emotionally undercooked.
5. His Life Is a Mess, but He's Real Chill About It
Debt? No problem. Dead-end job? Whatever. Still crashing at a mate's couch at 32? "It’s just temporary."(Translation: It’s been 5 years.)
6. He Needs Constant Mothering
You end up reminding him about dentist appointments, washing his socks, packing snacks...You’re not his mum. You’re supposed to be his partner. Big difference.
7. He’s All Talk, No Action
Big dreams, no plans. Big promises, no follow-through. Big ego, no backup.
8. His Emotional Range Is Limited to “Chill” or “Angry”
If the only feelings he knows are "sweet as" and "p*ssed off," you’re dealing with someone emotionally stuck in Year 8.
9. He Competes With You Instead of Complimenting You
When you win, he pouts. When you succeed, he feels threatened. You’re not dating a man; you’re babysitting his fragile ego.
10. He Can’t Commit to Plans (Or a Plant, Or a Phone Bill)
Commitment feels like death to a man-child. Even a date two weeks out gives him a rash.
The Final Test:
If you have to ASK if you’re dating a man-child, you probably are. And babe — you didn't come this far, fight this hard, and survive this much to end up teaching some overgrown boy how to pack a lunchbox.
Here's Your New Mantra:
🌟 If he acts like a boy, I deploy my boots. 🌟
🌟 If he can’t ride beside me, he ain’t riding at all. 🌟
🌟 If he can’t even water a cactus, I’m not watering him. 🌟
At Keep A Lid On It, we don’t just spot the red flags — we tie 'em to a bull and yeehaw our way to freedom. Ready to leave the boys behind and ride into a better life? Giddy up to: www.whoopwhoopwalkabout.com 🌾
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